Happy St. Patty’s Day Friday, March 17, 2006

Friday, March 17, 2006 Posted @ 20:53

This is my first blog in a few days, since I got the time now and I have access to the Internet. This has been a dull past couple of days. I have not really done anything important recently. With today being St. Patrick’s Day my friends and I are to go out and get smashed. The venue for tonight is either drinking at my friend Chandra’s house or dancing the night away at Club Heaven. I for one would actually love to go dancing it would be a great way to reduce stress as well as letting me have some fun. But I really don’t want to pay the $5 cover charge that is going on tonight, and the only drink specials they have are $2 Red-headed Sluts, and $3 Guinness. Not a big fan of beer. So I think I might end up drinking over at Chandra’s for a while, then maybe going over to Heaven and dancing off the booze. But still there is that $5 cover charge that I really don’t want to pay. Maybe I will just have to curb my dancing shoes for another night and go out tomorrow night. Since my sister is in town this week I guess that I am going to have to ask her what she would like to do, since I told her that I would drag her out to the bar at least once while she was in town. It really makes no never mind where we go I just really don’t want to sit at home again this weekend, going crazy. Lets now talk about last weekend. I really did have a bad weekend last weekend. Considering, I went crazy and I was in a very manic mood for about 5 days straight. This consisted of me sleeping an hour at most a night if I spelt at all. Wanting at 3 am to either reread books that I have already read or paint my apartment walls. Which I do not think my apartment complex would have liked. I just wanted to do that; I really did not have the money to do it, and couple friends talked that and me out of it. I really can’t complain about that. I have been feeling a lot better this week. No major mood swings to note just the one where I went back to what people refer to as the real me.

Crazy Times In My Head!! Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sunday, March 12, 2006 Posted @ 03:30

Frustration always comes when I get into one of my moods. I really hate it when I get in a manic mood. I can’t sleep for days on end, and I am always in need of something to keep my mind as well as my hands busy. I get into one of these moods and it lasts for days on end. I feel insane by the end of it. The mania is always what has made me crazy. I can always handle the depression by listening to depressing music and eating a pint of ice cream while lying in bed for days on end. But that only happens every now and then when I get to that point. Normally my depression only lasts for a few days and I am better. Tonight has been a little bit of a difficult night. I have cleaned my apartment twice since I got home this afternoon, and I have been antsy all day. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.

Phone Calls & Fairy Tales…. Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 Posted @ 01:30

I have been trying to write this blog for some time now. Getting out of the habit of writing it’s hard to get back in the swing of things. I have recently had a revelation of some sorts. I wanted a perfect life, a fairy tale life. Actually I just wanted friends that I could hang out with but what I got instead was guys that don’t call you back. I have a rule that I have used for some time. It’s like a 3 strikes then you’re out type of thing. I told myself a long time ago that I was not going to be that desperate queen that calls a guy he likes every 15 minutes. So I made up my rule. I told myself that I can call a guy 3 times and 3 times only if he does not return my calls. This is normally in a 2 week period. And mostly when this happens I speak to a voicemail or answering machine so it makes it worse. If he does not call after the third time I will no longer have anything to do with him. No calls, no friendship, no nothing. I have done this recently to two really great guys that I liked. I really didn’t want anything more then to be just friends right now, from either one of them. But they decided not to call me back for some odd reason. I don’t really know why. Both guys I met at the club and we hit it off if, one not really sexual since when I met him he seemed out of my league. But he was such a great guy that I wanted to be his friend no matter what hardship he went thru, in the past, present or future. The other was a great guy that I was set up with by a friend. He and I hit it off but we were really drunk when we met and I ended up taking him home. We had a great night together and talked a little afterwards. But now I am going to just say fair well to the two of them. I don’t want to call them again and be that desperate person. But should I really just ignore them with no explanation to either of them. So I pose the question should I tell either of them the truth, of why I am not going to talk to them. Or just leave it be saying it wasn’t meant to be anything more then what it was. Both of them or just one of them might read this at some point, so if either one of you are reading this right now. You can always call me. My phone is always on. Not to sound to harsh but I wont be calling you back until you call me. I figure it’s a good way to tell that you’re being avoided if no one returns your calls. Well I guess my fairy tale ending is going to have to wait another day.